Consequences~

Is been a long time I didn't write my blog. Finally I can spend some time to write blog. Mainly to my university life. Can be say hectic life. Every time just started a semester, busy busy busy busy then until final examination, then semester break. But this semester more worse, maybe because of a lot of homework, really sometimes can control my emotion. Really wanted to scream loudly, " I BEH TAHAN LAR!!!!!". It looks easy, But problem is there was no ideal place for me to scream on it. Sometimes I bring this bad mood to some cases made my thinking not rational. Did something that should not do, in the end, really cannot control myself to do it even though I know the consequences. Sometimes someone really make really pekcek and u cannot tahan already and really do not know how to release my pekcekness. Then I try to listen to radio and heard that maybe we can voice out some discontent through media like Facebook. Then, I posted something so that I can distress myself from suffer from my anger by indirectly scolding to some people. But somehow, I realize that my action have been made some people angry to me. And through some friends, they told me that I shouldn't did this because it shows to everyone. But sometimes I really cannot control myself to voice out my discontent. Sometimes, it is hard to find people to talk with the problem that I faced. One day I go to temple  求签, it says that I will easily conflict with people around. I think it is quite true la. Can see people around me is started not bothering me because my act to talking bad about other people in Facebook. May be can say my acting just like a coward. To those I "hurt", I am so sorry that I used a wrong way to voice out my discontent due to my bad mood and my irrational thinking. Besides from this, I think I am having a big problem in communication skill, especially in persuading people to join some activities. Sometimes I asked myself, Is it I not sincere enough? My attitude problem? My face problem? Is it because of I don't really care about how other people talk bad about me,then they also don't care about what I did? I do really think that the class will not have any difference if I am not even exist in the class. Sometimes I do really feel that I gonna give up anything that I doing. But problem is I must complete my responsibility and I must complete the task given to me. Maybe sometime really cannot force other people to do something, maybe they have something to do. But because of my bad attitude, sometimes, i do really feels that if everyone join the activity, it would be more fun and maybe we can get to know each other well after this activity, or maybe get benefits from it. but just because of this, maybe other people will just think I am forcing them to do something that they don't want to. It is hard to change my bad attitude and I don't know how to change this bad attitude. Besides from this, sometimes I do really feel loneliness. Felt that there no one can to be talk about such as voice out my discontent. I think through blogging, that is the only way that I can voice out. From what I did, I must take the consequences. I think I should end this and fixed this as soon as I can.

Busy body life~

Seems like my "3 minute heat" still left, I am feeling like want to write blog again after yesterday. Haha. 

Throughout this university life, I was slowly get to know my bad habit more and more and more. Just like one of it, sometimes can says that I was always doing the "addition" thing which is not useful. For instances, probably somebody may not need my help, but don't know why, I will suddenly get myself into it. Seems like I am quite busy body rite? Like recently happened, someone told me that the schedule for next semester is out and gave those code to register. What is in my mine is I better inform others people also so that everyone can get the useful information. But in the end, that friend told me, "why are you go announce to the whole world? I do not want them to have the same lecture class again because some of those are passenger in the group work! Now you see what you have done. Now make me have to register again to another class to avoid same group with those rubbish passenger!". I understand that to group with those passengers will be very troublesome. I have that experience before. Now I am already become the busy body. This is one of my problem occur in myself. Is it my thinking got problem? How come I will do such busy body things that make my friends fall into disadvantages? Actually I was tried to avoid myself to fall into such incident. Become a troublemaker among my friends. Sometimes I would think, is the world is too complicated cause me cannot adapt to the so called "real world"? Or is my mindset problem? Wei Leong ah Wei Leong, can't you just think more thoroughly before you do something?

Another incident sometimes I feel that I'm like cannot keep any secret if I'm not been told that is a secret. I am very weak in analyzing others people thinking such as this shouldn't say, that shouldn't ask, etc. But today I did something like that again. Is my mind problem or what, I will automatically go tell others as well no matter should or shouldn't. Because in my mindset, those are my friends, i should told them as well. But problem is, most of the time I will accidentally told the wrong person. I'm not sure that is consider bad luck or what, but somehow I was told something to the person that shouldn't know about it. I'm too weak in these things, as well others people thinking.

Another busy body incident is I will always want to organize something like trip to my fellow friends, so sometimes I always come out some idea that we should go here la, go there la, so that we have some memories in our university life. But the problem is, not everyone will think like me, thinks that will have good memories along the trip. But problem is, not all will think like me, maybe some of them will think that " How come Wei Leong so busy body one? Always go organize something and force us to join, my time is precious." And some of them probably will join the trip, but they will give those answers in between whether go or not going. For instances, even though we are in a class, but we also have a small group of friends will be closer to others. So, when I go ask for their confirmation, they will go refer each other like I'm asking A, "hey A, are you going to the trip?", but A will answer " erm, I don't know la, you go ask B, if B go then I go". So, immediately I go ask B is she going or not? Surprisingly B answer me, "Oh, A told me before, but I must go ask C first see her go or not. Or like this la, you go ask C go or not la." At that time, I feel that I was played, but never mind, we are friends what, okay, I go ask C. By the time when I ask C, Don't know how but somehow I can expect her answer，she said " Erm, don't ask me la, you ask A la, she is the leader.If she go, all of us go". What the heck! Ask me go round and round and got no answer. Haiz, this is consider my main problem, I was too busy body. Why I was doing these busy body things to handle these kind of situation? Why I want to organise trip for them who doesn't want it? Why I am like forcing them in order to get better memories? Why I want to be the bad guy like dictator wanted all people to join the trip organise by me? All because of me was busy body and made a lot of wrong assumption. 

Sometimes, I may too busy body and cannot keep secret because of my mindset. I want to change this bad habit but it takes time to change. Probably some people because of my busy body altitude, they will just scare of me and stay away from me. Maybe they are right. For me, I also will scare of these kinds of people. 

First Time Ever To Write My Own Blog

This is my very first time to writing blog. Probably this is a good start to improve my writing and to express my feeling, my experiences about social life and etc. However, this is my first time of writing blog, probably will have a lot of grammar mistake, but i guess if will be better if i continues writing blog after this. ( But the problem is I don't know whether i can still got interested on blogging because of my bad habit; like Chinese said" 3 minutes heat". HAHA).

I should start on my university life. In this three years studying in the university, I have learned a lot of things like how to deal with people, knowing all kind of people in the society. University just like a mini society, everything that can be happened in here and just the same as the outside world. University life just like a internship for all of us, practicing to survive in the society. During school life, I might think that everything can go as I wish if i wanted to. But after experience in university life, things goes oppositely. We must expect that even though we have done something very hard, we should think for the worst case maybe happen. Things may goes wrong in many factor. But most importantly, even though we have fail, we must brave enough to face it, think positively, and must always have in my mind " nothing cannot be done, failure just make things done in more perfect way".

In university, I have also experience some about friends. Previously, i thought that friends have only one kind, good friends. But for now, actually friends have many kinds, like friends who are just saying hi to each others, friends from someone who have purpose or to use you,and most importantly,those who suddenly approach you and act like very close and nice to you. This kind of people are very dangerous, and very deceptive. But in this society, a lot of people are like this just to get something from you and you just cannot ignore their existence. What we can do is just beware them.

Some people are very selfish, they will just think of what they responsible and what suppose to do, even though we are sit on the same ship, they will not bother others life and death. What make them feels themselves get the worst of it just do a little more job? If everyone things like that, the world will just stop like that if everyone will just bother about what they suppose to do. Such a Kiasu act！！  For instance, I joined Pesta Tanglung K10 recently as a drama committee member, in the end of the festival, all committee member should help out each other to clear the venue by arranging back all the chairs and etc. If want to bother that this job should be done by which group, actually this should be handle by Lokasi department, But for others, we think that even though we are not from that group, we just help out each others only so make things easier. But, the group leader found out some chair that is not borrow my him, he shouted said: " everyone attention, these chair are not borrow by my department, my department and I will not responsible for this! which group have borrow these chairs please remove it by yourself!!". Come on la, dear fat group leader of Lokasi, even though we know that those chairs are not borrow by your department, but problem is this chair is borrow for pesta tanglung, what make you so difficult by just remove it and just get things done more simple and easily? Why bother so much about who's responsible? Carry more chair will make you suffer losses? Childish! Besides this, some even do not want to responsible even though that is their responsible, previously, we encounter some problem from the leader of the event. So, to make things clear, we should ask someone to find out what was the problem from the leader,but unbelievable is, the leader go find someone under him, and transfer all his responsible to that fella and says that everything is his fault! What the heck, such a responsible leaders we have! If you cannot handle the responsible, then just do what you capable of la! What for to blame others while all that mistake is come from him-selves! like Chinese says， If do not such big head, please do not wear such big hat!, means do not take something that you cannot do. it will just worsen the case and bring more problem to others!

 I think i better stop here before I cannot control myself from start pop out something from my mind and writing non-stop. These are just some part of the experience from my university life. Even though life is hard, but life must go on and most importantly, do not give up easily, just take it as a challenge for ourselves to improve whatever we did.